Mum and Child Coach Updates

12.10.21

Last week I turned 50 and continue to celebrate in various random ways. My mother-in-law bought me a green kimono with storks. I love it. I also went out with my girlfriends for lunch followed by a walk to the natural burial ground at Clandon Wood, UK. The Johnny Cash reference at the end of this video is a nod to my dead dad.

29.9.21

How To Feel Calmer As A Mum - read on ... https://mailchi.mp/08ef51270a8a/how-to-feel-calmer-as-a-mum

27.9.21

"I've updated my Mum Coach website, what do you think?" I asked Number 3.

"I like the mum coach, I can see a need as having children is life-changing in many ways, so one aspect, of course, is it can dull dreams as the children need care and attention. Yet being a mum should not mean you cannot do your dreams as well. So a platform and support to bring out ideas to make a positive impact is good.


I also liked the clean air message for children going to school that you shared. I have always thought the concept of children sitting in a car and then often being in long queues just breathing in all that pollution from the car in front is pretty dumb. Cars generate more pollution when there hardly moving.


I used to walk to school, it was far healthier and I liked the freedom. I do not believe the issues of child attack/abduction are any greater than the 70's to now in 2021. What changed was the perception of crime and the fear factor in how the tabloids reported it. The poor reporting without balance changed attitudes so fewer school kids walked to school.


Thus more sick kids with asthma or other lung conditions and obesity. It matters that it changes so the environment gets a break and of course it matters for the kids' health."


Do you agree with Number 3?


#whoisnumber1?

26.9.21

Where are you called to make a difference?

Meet Sadhana

“Understanding and mitigating the impact of climate change and air pollution in a playful manner”

A #randomdialogue with Sadhana at Guildford Lido on behalf of Guildford Living Labs - working towards a vision : “Clean Air For All” via @pk_shishodia on Twitter.

Full video here

23.9.21

Not sure what I was saying to the Mayor of Guildford at the relaunch of an event I host called Business Buzz Guildford.

Probably something like, "I wish I’d worn red like you too!"

"You obvs didn’t get the memo!" said Arwen

"How many times do I have to tell you? Black spotted dresses and scarlet jackets are THURSDAYS. On Wednesdays it's Levi's and something that at first glance makes you look like a Catholic priest." Paul

"And I think she’s saying she wished she was joining you at the hoedown," Emma

"GAH...these shoes are too damn tight and this woman next to me just will not stop talking...!" Julie

"Good to be different!" Kay xx

21.9,21


This week I've been exploring "Empty Nest Syndrome" It’s not exclusive to parents of older children leaving home, it can also affect parents of younger children transitioning to nursery for the first time, longer school days, doing more social activities independently as well as moving away to study, travel or work.


Empty nest syndrome is that feeling of loneliness and diminishing usefulness parents experience as their children gradually stretch and cut the invisible but very real umbilical cord of usefulness.


And following the lockdowns of Covid where families spent far more time together than was typical, the stark contrast between sharing the house all day with the family to being alone in the home as children (and also partners) return to ‘normal’ makes the impact of the syndrome greater than it has ever been before.


“With the kids not here I’m not sure what to do with myself - it’s an empty nest kind of feeling. I’ve been so focused on them that I’ve lost sight of myself,” Lucy, mum of three primary-aged children.



Coupled with grief and sadness that these transitions may bring, Empty Nest Syndrome often affects mothers more than father because they often coincide with other significant changes in a woman’s life such as menopause and retirement.


It can take time to recover and reconsider. And that’s ok. In fact it’s a golden opportunity to recover and reconsider…..


Ask where did "you" go in the hustle and bustle of raising kids?


"The kids had both headed to study in different countries. I was left alone with an aging dog. I was a single mum. Overwhelm crept in, a form of grief wanting to do more, the dog was great company but such a tie, it prevented me from getting out more as I simply couldn’t leave it for too long. I didn’t realise what a shock it was all going to be.” Katy, mum of two.


So what to do about it? Don’t be afraid. It’s a normal life stage and when dealt with calmly can be the doorway to an altogether new and exciting life stage.


Try to sit in lonely for a while, observe it and allow it to visit. Enjoy the memories of the full nest period you’re leaving and congratulate yourself on all you achieved in that time.


Move mindfully through it because it doesn’t have to stay. Use the time to reconnect with yourself, your friends and your community. Revisit the old and try out the new.


Mum of two and psychotherapist Emma Starling suggests,


“Find a balance of keeping busy and use the time free you have for your own wellbeing”


Here’s some more ideas to try


  • Schedule time to meet with friends

  • Or on your own in nature or with a good book

  • Consider the things you enjoyed pre kids, are there things you could pick up again?

  • Or try a new hobby


Take a deep breath. Visualise a new set of wings, trust them. Time for you to test beyond the nest too.


11.9.21 "During the past 100 years, the countryside has lost almost 70% of its ponds, resulting in the critically damaging reduction of a major form of habitat" Wildlife Gardening for Everyone: RHS & Wildlife Trust. There is a wealth of wildlife that depends heavily on ponds for success. Swoopers, surface suckers and pluckers to a pond may include: pond skaters water beetles snails mayflies caddis flies damselflies dragonflies Remembering also, frogs, toads, newts (60cm depth), and birds.

If we had a pond in our wildlife garden we may have won a gold award, instead, we are delighted with our Silver Gilt This is me showing off our certificate earlier this week, after the "Guildford In Bloom" award ceremony at the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre.

My teenage daughter came along too, and understandably didn't want to be featured in the photo with her embarrassing mother! We did get a pic together on the stage, and shared the free choc in our goody bags.

By the way, we do have a bucket pond which I occasionally tweet about here. and use #pondbucket.

20.8.21 Have you ever got dressed and ready for a gym and swim and then created a video about alpacas instead? https://www.linkedin.com/posts/janetyson_teacherrascal-canvaclinic-resilientkids-activity-6838016636650303488-qx-2

20.8.21 It was one of those throw-away comments. Also does this make me a digital "mum" nomad or just a mad mum? Read on... https://mailchi.mp/5fd593d7ab44/it-was-one-of-those-throw-away-comments-11211190

18.8.21 Kirsty, mum of 3, invited me to assist at her "Woodland Spirits" Forest School which is in Reigate, Surrey, UK. It has been a truly magical, collaborative experience. We've documented our stories over on our Instagram pages. You may like to read them too - Kirsty's - Jane's

14.8.21 Mum Coach adventures to the Tate Modern in London . By the way, click here to learn why Matisse made the snail collage below out of paper, this also includes a video reel of our mum, daughter and niece outing.

9.8.21 Meet Mrs Valerie Wood-Gaiger MBE "Learn With Grandma" Mum of 5, Grandma and Great Grandma to 14 - "Helping to break down the digital age gap by sharing skills; love & knowledge across the generations". Enjoy our Random Dialogue video just below, else view us chatting over on Facebook. I've also written this Mum Coach blog about Val too.

8.8.21 Number one on Amazon across 8 categories - we did it! Mums Supporting Mums! Read more about our book launch here.


14.7.21 I'm excited to share that I am officially an author! And the amazing book that I have co-written will be out soon.

Meanings Over Milestones is a little book with a big mission: to inspire a world where life meaning is just as important as life milestones and to raise money to support global grassroots projects tackling children's emotional well-being.

It's a collection of over sixty stories from mums - writers and amateurs alike - sharing messages of beliefs, values, purpose and passion for their children.

It's an anthology of hope, transformation, love and so much more. And it will make you reflect, weep or affirm "me too" on every turn of a page.

More soon!

With gratitude to Angharad Davies for making it all happen

#onemumatatime


July 12th 2021 Resilient Kids


Enjoy my monthly publication which contains a mix of creative nudges and practical tips to boost kids' resilience. It's a bit like a magazine with articles, inspiration, and ideas for you to dip into as you wish. Read July's edition which I share out for my Resilient Kids mission - click here to read it.

Implementing Managing Moments and Growing Systems of Success via the PhD Framework to Boost Calm, Confidence and Productivity